It's All Coming Back To Me Now
by SmearedLipGloss
Summary: And whenever you tried to hurt me I just hurt you even worse and so much deeper knowing then that you wont know how much i love you.BN drabbles
1. I Hate Myself for Losing You

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

I can't save myself from the loneliness of living without you. No one can save me, except you but now you wont come near me.

I gave you away; I didn't fight for you like I should've have. Like I wanted. I gave you to someone I knew would hurt you. I let you think that you could change him. But you didn't change him, you changed _me_. You taught me what's it's like to love someone then lose them.

I never thought that I would lose you; I thought that anytime I needed you to catch me you would be there to hold me up. But now I fall to the ground, the grass stains my pants.

When I look at you now, I hold my breath, scared that these words will escape my mouth. But then I look at you again and realize that I am falling for you all over again.

Last time I heard your voice it was broken and your face was the ground for rivers of tears. You told me 'All I wanted was to be enough for you' when you said that I couldn't help but think you always were. I didn't speak up and tell you that, scared, that it wouldn't mean anything. I also knew that Chuck could give you this happiness. He would never make you cry like this.

Everyday I wake to an empty room, wanting to wake up with you in my arms around you. I want to have you kiss my lips, and cry in my arms, walk in the rain like we used to.

I want to come home.

You broke the puzzle that I call my heart. But you didn't just take a piece. You took the whole thing and tore it all apart.

I promised myself that you were just a girl that I didn't care, I could get over it. I can't tell myself those things.

I will always be thinking of you when I'm with another girl. Comparisons are easily made, especially when it comes to you. With you, I compare everything, even thought I know that you are irreplaceable. You're a tear in my soul that hangs there forever.

Cause now when I'm with her I'm thinking of you how she not you, how she never will be you, how no one will ever be you.

You're my drug. I just want and need you more and more. I said nothing could tear us apart, I meant that, still do, always will. You promised me that you would love me forever.

But I guess promises are better left unsaid.

Now I look in the mirror and see why you're not here. But what do you do when nothing has been said, but every tear shed. I wish you knew what you do to me every time you glance at me It's hard to live without you. It's hard to let you go.

Your heart is my sky; there is no limit to how much I can love you.

I wish I could feel the sensation of your hair entangled within my fingers. Join me in ecstasy of my hands on your body- I won't let you fall for me the way I have fallen for you.

Once you left me, the world was never honest. Everything was a lie to me. You were my heart.

So now when I see your fingers laced with _his _I will conjure the feeling the feeling of your hand within mine to get through the day.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost, broken, and completely in love with you.

I hate myself for losing you.


	2. Rescue Me

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Disclaimer: I don't own anythingThe illusion of you

_In my mind_

_It overtakes me_

_Makes me drown_

_But come rescue me_

_I need you_

_I want you_

_To hold me up_

_Till I stop falling_

_To stop me _

_From running_

_From you_

_From us_

_Kiss me till the pain subsides_

_Till the betrayal has disappeared_

_Hold me till all I see is you_

_But you don't need to do that_

_I am already there _

_You already did it for me_

_You swam till I drowned_

_Was lost till I was found_

_Was broken till I was fixed_

_But now we're apart_

_And I'm back _

_To the beginning_

_I need you to _

_To rescue me_

_To find me _

_To fix me_

_But now you're doing that_

_For someone else_

_So now my broken heart has no use_

_Cause you're not there to fix it_


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